The Further Adventures of Spartan 1337
by cloverfan98
Summary: Non cannon spoof of the Halo series based on, and that picks up where the Halo Legends short Odd One Out ends. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is based on, and stars the main character from the Halo Legends short film Odd One Out. The short is non cannon, so this story is too. I own nothing, and if I did we would have a Halo movie. Enjoy, and please review!

Spartan 1337 twisted and struggled in the grip of the flying predator that had snatched him.

"Let go of me you dumb turkey! Don't you know how awesome I am? I don't deserve this!"

The predator paid the green armor clad Spartan no mind, and continued carrying its prey. Spartan 1337 reached to active his radio and call for help, only to be rewarded with a loud blast of static in his ear. The static was loud enough to frighten the winged predator into dropping its captive from its grip. As he fell, Spartan 1337 screamed in fear loud enough for anyone within a five mile radius to hear him.

Fortunately for the Spartan, the creature had dropped it over an outcropping ledge on the top of a mountain. The Spartan hit the ground head first and was knocked out instantly. After lying still for many moments, the Spartan picked himself up slowly.

"Man I'm awesome! I didn't plan for the static to scare the bird, but I was able to take advantage of the situation, and fight my way out of it's' grasp, and land as lightly as a feather on safe ground! Dang I'm good! AH! My back!"

The Spartan collapsed back to the ground hissing through his teeth, as pain shot up and down his back. The Spartan tried to reach his back in order to message it, but was blocked by his bulking armor. After spending a good deal of time trying to reach his back, and turning himself into a human pretzel, he was interrupted by a loud cracking sound. Spartan 1337 stopped and turned his head in the direction of the loud noise. He found himself face to face with a miniature version of the larger flying creature that had captured him. The two stared at each other for a moment. Before the bird like creature gave out a loud cry and lunged at the Spartan's helmet. The impact sent both combatants reeling as they swayed back and forth trying to regain their balance.

"All right you Bird Brain! If I can handle your mama I can certainly handle you! HIGH YA!"

The Spartan leaped into the air, executing a perfect karate kick…… That completely missed his target, and sent him flying over the edge of the nest, and the mountain top.

"I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Cortana have you been able to reestablish contact with Spartan 1337?"

"Negative not since he said he would be late to make contact with us."

The Chief nodded and turned to face the pilot.

"Keep searching the area."

"Yes sir."

"Chief? Do you think anything bad happened to him?"

"Knowing 1337? Yes."

"Was he always this… Unfortunate?"

"No. He's usually worse."

"Oh. Hey do you hear something?"

"Yeah I do. Can you tell what it is?"

"Sounds to me like someone screaming."

Their conversation was suddenly silenced by a loud thump on the roof of the pelican.

Spartan 1337 once again found his fall broken. Not taking any chances, He whipped out his assault rifle and began shooting at the large green object he found himself flying on top of.

"I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU MONSTERS TRAYING TO EAT ME, KILL ME, OR DUMB ME OFF ON THE TOP OF SOME MONTAIN FOR YOUR BABY TO EAT ME!!!!! EAT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Chief! What is that?"

"I don't know but everyone keep your head down! Whoever it is it isn't Covenant, they don't use bullets. Or UNSC standard assault rifle bullets. Sigh. Cortana can you try and raise 13337 on the radio?"

"Yes I have him! I can patch you through!"

"Good do so!"

Spartan 1337 kept shooting until his clip ran out. As he reached for a new one, he heard his radio crackle.

"Spartan 1337 Come in over."

"This is 1337 can you hear me?"

"Yes. You need to stop shooting!"

"I say again can you hear me?"

"YES! Yes I can hear you!"

"Hello? Is anyone there? Dang I knew I should have switched over to Verizon. Hello?"

"YES! I CAN HEAR YOU!!!!!"

"Wow! Okay man! Shesh you don't have to yell!"

"You need to stop shooting you're…."

"I'm not going to stop shooting are you crazy? Everything I met is trying to kill me! I need you guys to get me out of here!"

"THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO!!!!!!!"

"By making me just throw away my weapons? I may as well jump of this, whatever this thing is."

"IT'S A PELICAN! YOU SHOUTING AT US!!!!!!!!"

"…..Oh. This isn't coming out of my pay is it?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: A very long overdue chapter I know, but I hope it's good. It is short, but sets up a gig plot point. A plot point that you, as the reader, will play a part in! Read on to find out. And as all ways, please read and review!

As Director and Creator of the Spartan II project, Dr. Catherine Halsey often found her desk flooded with messages, requests, and potential assignments for her Spartans. She sighed as she flipped through the large stack of papers on her desk. Already she could feel the beginnings of a headache. There was however, an even larger stack of papers on her desk. And unlike the other stack, these papers were focused only on one, specific Spartan. And unlike the other papers that were filed with praise and commendations for the other Spartans, this stack was nothing but complaints, angry reports of failed missions, and the like. Dr. Halsey was just beginning to sort through the stack, when the voice of the new AI she had acquired after Cortana left to fight with the Master Chief, filtered through the air.

"Dr. your three o'clock is here."

Yep. She was definitely getting a headache.

Outside Dr. Halsey's office in the waiting room, sat Spartan 1337. Following what he believed to be the unqualified success of his last mission, (no help from that pretty boy John) He couldn't understand why he was here. He should be out their fighting aliens and stuff. Not sitting in a Doctor's office. Besides he never got sick! Germs couldn't stand up to the awesomeness of his immune system.

"Mr. Spartan?"

1337 looked up to see a nervous looking private staring at him.

"That's Mr. Awesome to you Private Shorty."

The private's changed from one of nervousness to one of slight anger.

"Dr. Halsey will see you now."

"Oh! Right! And no I won't be signing autographs today."

The private muttered under his breath. "Not that I'd want one anyway."

1337 Tried his best not to unleash his awesome wrath on such as small insignificant solider. Better save it for the aliens.

Dr. Halsey stared at the cause of her headache. Spartan 1337. Unlike the rest of her Spartans, 1337 was not what you'd call an unqualified success. He was more like a complete failure. And despite the constant raging of his superiors, 1337 never seemed to notice his failures. His massive ego did an amazing job covering them. However despite his failings, she could not help but care for him. He was still one of her Spartans.

"Spartan 1337 I've been receiving a very large amount of complaints about you. And before you start, no they are not just jealous, and no I will not listen to any of the other reasons you will give for this large stack of papers I have on my desk. That is not the reason you are here. The reason you are here, is so we can try and find a solution. Now I am willing to hear ideas as long as they are somewhat sane."

Although his helmet hid his facial expressions from view, Dr. Halsey, could tell that his was thinking. He was bracing herself for any of the insane suggestions he would come up with, but his suggestion took her completely off guard.

"I think I need a girlfriend."

Dr. Halsey could barely utter a shocked, "Excuse me?"

"You know, like the hot chick that John has. She always seems to keep him in line. Plus I've been needing girlfriend my whole life! I deserve one for my awesomeness!"

While the idea was somewhat insane, she could see some logic to it. An AI might be able to keep him in line better then any other superior officer could. However, there was a large shortage of AIs thanks to the ongoing war.

"I'll see what I can do." She promised.

Suddenly she began to regret her promise.

Alright now that you have an idea what is coming I need your help! I'm taking suggestions on what to name 1337's AI partner! The only rule to this semi contest is that the name has to be.

Funny

Tie in some how to an internet joke, or meme just like Spartan 1337's name does.

Also I am taking story ideas or suggestions. So start sending those names in buy either including them in your review, or sending them in an email. Thanks and good luck!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Alright in this new chapter we will meet 1337's new AI partner! I asked for the readers to come up with a name for the AI, and while every suggestion was fantastic, I chose my two favorite names! SO read on to find out which ones those are! As always please read and review!

The whole command deck of the UNSC frigate was tense in anticipation, as the CO of the ship marched onto the bridge. He was a large commanding man, whose presence and attitude demanded respect. He was the kind of man who enjoyed the respect that was awarded him because of his rank, and he had no problems flaunting it. He approached the con, and paused to check the ships main computer for new orders. He stared at the screen for several minutes. A large vein began to pulse in his neck and his checks grew red.

"LAYLA!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

The whole crew burst out in laughter at the Captain's anger. As the bridge filled with the laughter, the ship's AI appeared. The AI's form was that of a young female human, somewhere between the age of 16 and 20. She was purplish in color, and had the appearance of someone who had no interest in anything you had to say to her. Basically your average teenager.

"Yeah want do you want?"

The CEO was struggling to keep from reaching out and attempting to strangle the holographic image.

"Did you, or did you not hack into my computer so that the words, CAPTIAN AHAB IS A DORK repeat over and over?"

"Yeah I did. Like, what of it?" Layla replied.

"I want you to remove! That is an order!"

"Fine whatever. You what me to remove it from your computer only?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"Well I kinda like, posted it all over the command net, so like everyone in active duty saw it. Want me to remove it from there too?"

The Captain's next words were too unintelligible, and vulgar to understand.

Dr. Halsey rubbed her head so much it hurt. But not nearly as much as her headache.

"I understand your position Captain, but…"

"No buts Doctor!" The Captain interrupted. "That dysfunctional AI is undermining my authority and I want her gone! Understand?"

"Yes Captain." Dr. Halsey answered before cutting off the transmission.

The AI in question was Layla. Layla was one of the first AI's that were created for the Spartan II project, and she was created by using Dr. Halsey's mind as a blueprint. However because she was a first attempt at making a combat suitable AI, she was a failure, and not suited for combat with the Spartan II's. Under normal circumstances, she would have been stored with the rest of the failed AI's. However Humanity's war with the Covenant had created a major need of AI's which meant that Layla had been shipped out to serve as a ship board AI. Despite all her flaws, she was an expert hacker and she had given herself the name, "H4X0r" because of her hacking skills. These skills were often used for her own personal gain though, which often lead her into conflict with her superiors.

As Dr. Halsey sat at her desk in thought, she struggled to find a resolution to her current set of problems presented to her by her failed AI, and failed Spartan. Then an idea came to here. She activated her intercom to talk to her assistant.

"Tell Spartan 1337 that I need to speak with him."

Alright now that the chapter is over I need to acknowledge some people.

First of all Kudos to DarkblazeKnight, who came up with the name "Layla" Thanks man! And last but not least, thanks to Ryan, who suggested the name "H4X0r" thank you dude! As always please continue to read and review, and give any story suggestion you can think of!


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